Promotion test

The colonel had three Second Lieutenants eligible for promotion. The problem was, he only had one First Lieutenant Slot available.

The colonel called the first candidate his office and said, "This is a promotion test. If I was to tell you that I wanted a flag pole erected in front of Post HQ by 1500, what would you do?"

The Lt. thought about it for a second, and said, "Sir. I would get a shovel, head for HQ and start digging. "

"You're not ready to be promoted," the Colonel interrupted.

The colonel asked the same question of the next candidate.

"Sir," said the next Lt., "I would fill out a CE work order, making sure I made provisions for the appropriate environmental study and . . . "

"You are definitely not ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.

The Colonel asked the question of the final candidate.

Without hesitation, the Lieutenant said, "Sir. I would call the First Sergeant, and say, "Top, I want a @#$#@ flag pole in front of HQ by 1500!"

"You're ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.

Equal opportunity employer

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."
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The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

Project manager :)

This is one of the coolest mails on IT..!



The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the

strongest man around that they offered a Rs 10,000

bet. The bartender would squeeze a

lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand

the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one

more drop of juice out would win the money. Many

people like weight-lifters, wrestlers, body

builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could

do it.



One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing

thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny,

squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the

laughter had died down, the bartender said OK,

grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the

wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.



But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence

as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and

5-6 drops fell into the glass. As the

crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and

asked the little man, "What do you do for a living?


Are you a weight-lifter, or what?"


"No," replied the man.


"I work as a project manager in a software company !! "